Cared For
by kressn
Summary: Sometimes we all need someone to take care of things for us, to just care...
1. Chapter 1

_**A little silly story about how sometimes we all just need someone to do the talking and the caring...**_

He was so tired, everything hurt, his whole body felt like it had been used as the ball at a ping pong tournament. The bank robbers in Puerto Rico had done their best to hurt him. He usually didn't like hospitals or medics, or needles, and was normally more than willing to just work through the pain of minimal injuries (much to Jack's chagrin) and get things done; today though, for some reason, he just was not really wanting to do that.

He laid on the Phoenix Jet, eyes closed, as they flew towards wherever it was they were headed on their next assignment. Mac knew Jack and the others were worried about him; his face was three shades of purple already, he was moving very stiffly and slowly due to the blows to the ribs, chest and kidneys, not to mention his head; he could tell that Jack was doing his best to not go full on Papa-Jack on him but was close, very, very close. Mac also knew that because of this, all he had to do was say "the word" and Jack would take Matty and the Devil himself on if needed, on his behalf, get the mission cancelled and get him some rest. Should he though? He sighed; he need a break, he knew it. He was tired of being tired, and tired of hurting, and just tired…The hell with it he thought, he opened his eyes and ran a hand over his face; here goes nothing….

He started to sit up, a move he knew would elicit pain, pain he could use. He shifted his legs over the side of the couch, used his right elbow to prop himself up, a move that made the whole room spin in a sickening fashion, making his vision blurry and his stomach turn, eliciting a groan of pain he made no effort to subdue as he pushed himself completely up into a sitting position. Jack, as he suspected, upon hearing the groan, was beside him instantly.

"Hey kiddo, you OK?" Jack asked as he sat beside him on the couch. Mac knew if he came right out and said "no", not only would they all panic and he would end up spending the next month in a hospital being examined every 15 minutes from head to toe, but that he would also give Jack a heart attack and many more grey hairs (which he often blamed on Mac or Riley, not his age); so, he decided to take it in slowly.

"I'm sore", good start Mac thought, this was not the usual "I'm OK" they would be expecting, but also not a full on "I'm dying" comment that would send everything into a frenzy. "And a bit nauseated" Mac continued as he put his head in both his hands as he rested his elbows on his knees. He felt Jack's hand on his neck checking his pulse, and Jack's other hand on his arm, squeezing him gently.

Jack heard Mac groan as he started to sit up on the couch he had been sleeping on for the last couple of hours; he knew Mac would be hurting after the beating he took, but it was not like Mac to let his pain be that public, so he rushed over to the kid's side and sat on the couch beside him, exchanging a worried look with Riley and Bozer when Mac admitted to being both sore and nauseated.

"Could I please get some water?" Mac asked Bozer as he looked up at his friend. Bozer of course nodded and ran over to grab some water. "Riley, do me a favor" Mac continued as he closed his eyes again, fighting the vertigo that lingered; "grab me some Ibuprofen from the First Aid Kit". He heard Riley say "sure thing Mac" in a tone that betrayed her worry, as he felt Jack's grip on his arm and now the back of his neck tighten.

Jack was nearing panic mode now; the kid was not only admitting to pain and discomfort but had asked for medication as well. "Mac, bro, what is going on kid? Jack turned to his partner, using one of his hands to grab Mac's chin and turn the kids head towards him so he could get a good look and some eye contact.

Mac opened his eyes and looked at Jack; "I told you, I'm sore", Mac sighed, "I also have a pounding headache". Mac rubbed a hand through his hair, not being able to hold back the wince of pain the movement caused him. He then let himself fall back against the cushions of the couch as he blindly reached for both the water and the pills his friends brought him. "thanks" he whispered and still with eyes closed, he took the pills and sipped on the water, slowly, so as not to aggravate his nausea.

Jack looked at Riley and Bozer, both of whom were sporting very worried expressions. They knew it was not like Mac to admit to any pain or to ask for pain medications. They both looked at Jack who tilted his head towards the back of the plane, asking them for some privacy for Mac and him until he could figure out what was going on. They both made their way over quietly, allowing Jack the privacy he wanted.

Mac felt Jack start to unbutton his shirt, normally, he would swat Jack's hands away, remind Jack of the concept of Personal Space, and tell him "he was fine", but not today, nope, he wanted, no, needed, his "father" to be there, he wanted, he needed to just be taken care of for once in his life without feeling guilty about it, so he said nothing, did nothing, simply laid there and allowed Jack to do what Jack needed to do.

Jack's hand trembled slightly as he realized that Mac was not going to stop him, or try to, from unbuttoning his shirt and checking his injuries; that was definitely not like Mac, but he, for right now, was not about to look a gift horse in the mouth, so he continued on, pulling the shirt open, then he began tenderly pushing against the kids ribs and side to check for any "give" or any signs of other issues.

Mac kept his eyes closed and groaned freely with pain whenever Jack found a tender spot on his body, which was not at all hard, he damn near fell off the couch as he bolted straight when Jack found a very painful spot around his kidneys, making his breathing labored and his eyes water.

"Sorry kiddo, breathe, come one Mac, breathe, slowly, in and out" He heard Jack say. It took him a minute to regain his composure. Jack ran a hand through his hair, what the hell was going on? He was trying to add 2+ 2 but kept getting 22; something was not right here.

"It's OK Jack" Mac said as he laid back down against the couch, swallowing hard, fighting back the nausea that now was even more pronounced. He sighed again and closed his eyes. "He got a few good punches in". He felt Jack shake him gently, so he opened his eyes and looked at his friend, partner, brother, father, all the above, and waited for Jack to make the next move.

"Mac, brother, are you up for this next mission kid?" Jack asked, worry obvious on both his face and his tone.

Bingo! Mac thought; here was his opening, his chance to let Jack take over and get him out of this next mission he really had neither the desire nor the energy to do, even though Matty was adamant they needed to be the team that completed it.

Mac took a deep breath, mentally bracing himself for the fallout his next words would surely cause.

"Honestly Jack, no..," He said as he looked at Jack, Mac didn't know someone could look confused, scared and worried all at once, evidently, they could.

When Jack heard Mac actually admit to not being up to their next mission it was all he could do to not go into a full-blown panic attack. What the hell? He thought, how did he let this happen? How could he not see his boy was hurting this badly?

"OK Mac, you're scaring me bro" He told the boy, "what is going on?" Jack grabbed the boy's shoulder with one hand, "if you were feeling so badly, why didn't you say something sooner son?" Jack asked as he carded a hand through the boy's hair, again, pushing back panic when Mac did not stop him.

"Because…" Mac said softly, sounding more like a 10-year-old boy than a 25-year-old man.

"Because why?" Jack took the bait, asking softly, now holding a hand on the kid's cheek, rubbing his thumb back and forth on it in an attempt to comfort them both really.

"Because Matty was adamant that we do this next mission, and I did not want to go 3 rounds with her" Mac sighed and continued, looking at Jack, "it was just easier to keep going along with it"

Jack nodded, "You don't worry about Matty" Jack said in a tone that left no doubt that Matty or whomever else thought they could put Mac in harm's way when the kid was not feeling well, would have to go through him to do so, and that was not going to be at all easy, "I will talk to her and get us turned around kid"

Mac nodded, relieved his plan worked without sending his friends into a panic that involved emergency landings, The National Guard, or anything else as such.

"I just need a break Jack" Mac admitted softly; "I thought I was up to this, but I am not, and I don't want to jeopardize the mission or anyone's safety"; "I don't know why, I just can't right now…" his voice cracked as he said that last part.

Jack raised an eyebrow at Mac's admissions and tone. He nodded and then grabbed a blanket and a pillow from one of the overhead bins.

"Lie back down kiddo" He grabbed the kid's legs to help him lie back down on the couch; he put the pillow under Mac's head and then wrapped him in the blanket. He sat back down beside the boy and ran his hand through the boy's hair again as he spoke and looked down at him.

"It's OK son, you rest OK?" Mac nodded. "I will go have a chat with our fearless leader, with Oversight or the damn Pope if need be, but we are turning back and going home OK?" Jack kept his hand on Mac's cheek and squeezed. "You just get some sleep and let Jack do the talking"

"Thanks Jack" Mac said quietly, closing his eyes as he felt Jack get up off the couch. He knew that Jack would handle things for him, take care of everything. There was a part of him that felt shame for allowing Jack to do this for him, instead of him talking to Matty himself, but really, he felt grateful that he had such a person in his life that no matter what happened, would have his back always, and was willing to take care of things, of HIM, without reservations.

He felt the plane start a turn as he began to sink back into sleep. A brief smile on his lips as he fell into sleep, secure in the knowledge he would be home soon.

 _ **Should I keep going? What do you all think?** _


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow! Thanks for the kind reviews and encouragement to keep going; much appreciate the "love".**

He was laying on the plane's couch looking up at the sterile ceiling, listening to Jack, Bozer and Riley talk; they were trying to figure out what to do with him basically. Mac normally would not really allow people to talk about him as if he was not there, but right now he was just tired and wanted to find a small dark corner somewhere where he could hide out and recharge in peace, so he just laid there quietly and waited.

Jack had called Matty and told her they were turning around and heading back to the States because Mac was not doing so well and needed to rest. Matty, in typical Matty fashion blew a few fuses in the process, but eventually agreed to allow the plane to land in Florida where Jack and Mac would get off the plane and Riley and Bozer would be joined by another Phoenix Team who would then retake the path to the now seriously delayed mission abroad. Jack agreed.

"Are you going to be OK alone with him Jack?" Bozer asked, glancing in Mac's direction.

"We will be fine Bozer, I will take care of our boy" Jack patted Bozer's shoulder. He then turned to Riley, "Riley, you and Bozer be careful out there, Matty said you should both be able to stay on the plane and help coordinate things from here, but still, stay sharp, OK?" Riley nodded.

"Where are you taking Mac?" she asked, worry for her friend tinting her words.

"First, we are going to see a doctor, then I have booked a beach house for us for a few days, Matty gave me a week to get Mac back on his feet so I plan on taking full advantage of that time and figure out what the hell is going on with him" Jack leaned in a bit closer and lowered his voice as he spoke, "I think there is more to this than just the beating, it is not like him to be this pliable or quiet" Bozer and Riley nodded.

Bozer walked over to where Mac was laying on the couch, still not moving or speaking, which was freaking him out honestly. Mac looked up at him as he approached.

"Hey Bozer" Mac said tiredly. "Hey Mac" Bozer said. You and Jack enjoy the time off brother, and don't overdo the sun exposure because you know you turn beat read like instead of golden brown my friend" Mac could not help but chuckle at that. He turned his head as Riley and Jack approached as well.

"Hey Mac, you rest OK" Riley said as she bent down and kissed his cheek. Mac nodded.

"OK kiddo, you ready to go?" Jack asked him while simultaneously stretching a hand out to Mac and helping him to a standing position, steadying him when Mac falter slightly with the change in position.

"Yeah Jack, I'm ready" Mac responded, taking his Go-Bag from Riley as Jack took his from Bozer. "See you guys soon and be careful" he said to his friends as they exited the plane onto the tarmac where a Phoenix car awaited; Matty was not happy, but she was efficient.

Jack took Mac's bag from him as they approached the car and threw them in the open trunk, he then took the keys from the waiting Phoenix team mate nodding a greeting to the young Marine who was about 3 inches taller than Jack. "Get in kid" he said to Mac, who slid into the front passenger seat of the sedan, slowly, trying not to aggravate his ribs.

He felt Jack reach over and buckle him up since once he was seated a wave of nausea hit him and he was busy breathing through it, eyes closed; he then felt Jack's hand squeeze his arm before they began to drive away. Mac kept his eyes closed. He probably should ask where they were headed, but he figured he would just let Jack be the one that made the decisions for a while.

Jack glanced over at his young friend every few minutes as he navigated through the heavy Miami traffic. Mac had yet to say a word even though they had been in the car now for 20 minutes. Mac had his head against the window of the car, eyes closed, breathing regular, hands on his lap; he was not asleep, but he was not aware either, it was like the boy was in another place and time, stuck in some sort of dark place he did not know how to exit. Jack was glad when he finally saw the exit that would take them to the clinic Matty had told him to take Mac to while in Miami, promising to call ahead and make sure they were seeing immediately.

As he parked the car around the back of the building he sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. He braced himself for a fight when he told Mac he was going to be checked out by actual medical professionals and that was non-negotiable. Mac never did well accepting medical care, so this was surely not going to end well.

"Hey kiddo, you with me?" Jack asked as he gently shook Mac's shoulder. "They are waiting for us inside, we have to go get you checked out bud"

Mac opened his eyes and looked out the window, he saw the clinic's sign, he then looked over at Jack and nodded; without saying a word he undid his seat belt and exited the car slowly, wincing as his ribs protested and the world shifted slightly.

Jack's mouth was agape when the kid offered no resistance at all about being seen at a clinic; "What the hell is going on Mac?" he asked himself as he too exited the car and walked around to Mac's side.

"Ready?" Mac asked Jack?

"Yeah kid, lets go inside" Jack said, walking beside his friend, ready to offer support if needed.

One hour later they were in an exam room, Mac was laying down snoring softly, IV in his arm, an IV he did not fight, at all, pushing fluids and some pain meds into him, Jack was sitting in the very uncomfortable plastic chair beside the bed, waiting for the doctor to return with test results. Mac had been more than docile during the entire process, he answered the doctor's questions honestly about what was hurting and how he felt, admitting to aches, pains, dizziness, nausea, etc.; when it came time for the IV, he laid there quietly as the nurse found a vein and hooked everything up.

"OK" the doctor entered the room; Jack stood glancing at Mac who hadn't woken up; "He is asleep doc" Jack reiterated, the doctor nodded and lowered his voice some.

"We have the results of the tests, he is dehydrated and showing signs of exhaustion; he has 3 bruised ribs, a mild concussion, and some bruising around his kidneys that have caused some inflammation and pain, although there does not appear to be any issues with kidney function" the doctor explained.

"So, what do we do now?" Jack asked, glancing at his friend again. "Does the kid need to stay?"

"No, I don't think he needs to stay at the hospital, but he does need to take it easy for a few days, allow his body to heal", the doctor hesitated, Jack noticed and asked, "And?" making eye contact with the doctor.

"The boy seems a bit sad to me; his affect is a bit flat", the doctor looked over his chart's notes, "I don't see any history of Depression in his records though, has that ever been an issue with him?"

"No, not that I am aware of" Jack answered, "I mean, after Afghanistan it took some time for him to get his bearing stateside, but that is not unusual for most of us coming back from active duty", Jack looked at the doctor straight on and asked, "is this something serious? Do we need medications, therapy, what?"

The doctor shook his head. "No, not sure that is needed, not quiet yet anyway; maybe he is just going through something he has to work out", the doctor glanced at Mac, "he is very young, young men his age still sometimes go through some growing pains of sorts, mood swings can happen", the doctor paused and looked at Jack, "let's give him sometime and see; it seems to me you know your boy well and you can probably, better than anyone, tell if we need to reconsider the wait-and-see approach at some point"

Jack nodded, "I do". "Let him work through this himself; give him some space, but stay close", the doctor gave Jack a slight smile, "I think your boy will be OK once he finds his balance again; he may need to talk through some stuff at some point, but it is likely he will be OK on his own"

"OK doc, you're the doctor" Jack stated.

"You can take him home whenever he wakes, the nurse will give you some paperwork to sign, along with my contact information if you feel something is not right, please call me, anytime"

"Thank you, doctor, I will" Jack shook the doctor's hand and watched him leave, leaving him alone with Mac in the exam room again.

Jack walked over to the gurney where his friend slept on, oblivious of the conversation he just had with the doctor. Jack brushed a stray hair off Mac's forehead, then started to card his fingers through the blonde's hair…" What is going on in that genius brain of yours kiddo?" Jack whispered, "What is this? What are we facing here? You're going to have to talk to me bud, let me in so I can help you"

Mac slept on…


	3. Chapter 3

**_OK, so now they are at the beach house; let's see what happens with our boys_**

 **Thanks again for all the kind reviews and encouragement to continue.**

Jack looked at his very quiet partner as he finally pulled into the driveway of the beach house he had rented for the week. Mac had slept about 4 hours at the clinic, which was doing nothing to abate Jack's concern for the boy, Jack had then promptly gathered Mac's discharge instructions and scripts, commandeered a wheelchair on which Mac sat without complaint, again making Jack's skip a few beats from the mounting anxiety, and gotten the kid situated on the passenger seat of the SUV for their short drive to the beach house.

Jack had made a quick stop on the way to pick up the kid's medications along with some light groceries. Mac waited in the car, quietly looking out the window, unmoving. He tried to engage his partner in conversation, but all he received in return was a few "Hums" and "Uh Hus" so he quickly gave up, turned on the radio to some Country Music and drove quietly the rest of the way.

When Mac did not seem to be moving to exit the vehicle and go inside the house, Jack put a hand on the kid's shoulder and lightly shook him; "Mac, kiddo, you are getting out or what?"

Mac blinked at him, a bit startled, almost as if he had forgotten Jack was with him; he then nodded, undid his seat belt and exited the car stiffly. Jack shook his head and walked around to the back of the car in order to retrieve their go-bags and the groceries; Mac came around and started to take his go-bag from Jack who swatted the kid's hand away, giving him the key code to the house's front door instead and asking him to go inside, turn on some lights and find a couch or something comfortable to sit on or better yet, lie down.

Once Jack had gotten all the bags inside the house and locked up the car he went in search of his partner. Mac had indeed found a place to sit, out on the house's back deck, facing the ocean, the kid was seated on a rocking chair. He was looking out in the direction of the water, at darkness basically since there was not enough light for anything to be seen.

"There you are son" Jack said walking to stand beside the boy, placing his hand on the kid's shoulder. "Don't you just love the smell of the ocean at night?" Jack asked rhetorically. "I used to love coming to the beach as a kid with my mother; she was always enamored with the ocean, she used to say it was so peaceful and yet so powerful, it was a contradiction that Nature likes to flaunt to us humans to remind us that nothing is necessarily quiet as it seems"

"Yes, it's nice" was all that Mac said quietly; he then shook himself as if waking himself from a bad dream before asking Jack if he needed help with anything?

"Nah, I'm good brother, you relax" Jack told the boy who again nodded and went silent.

Jack sighed quietly as he walked back inside the house to finish putting things away, checking the rest of the house out, securing the doors and taking a long hot shower which, he used not only to work out the kinks from his very long, weird day, but also to think about what could possibly be going on with his partner? Jack knew Mac had "manipulated him" on the plane to have him handle Matty and get them taken off the mission, just because Jack had allowed it, doesn't mean he was not aware it was happening. What worried Jack is that it is not like the kid to let others speak for him, on the contrary, Mac has always been assertive and responsible, he was not like other kids his age who often expected others to handle things for them so that they could take the easy way out.

Jack stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom, wiping it clear with his hand, he looked tired he knew, Mac was going to almost certainly give him more grey hairs this week, of that he was sure. He finished getting dressed for bed and then padded out to the back deck where he had left Mac; of course, the kid was not there, Jack could not help but smile, see kiddo, he thought, grey hairs indeed…

"Mac, kiddo! Where are you?" he yelled for the blonde. He heard a soft spoken "here" so he walked back inside locking the sliding door behind him. Jack found Mac in one of the rooms, lying on the bed, fully clothed, one arm over his eyes, the other wrapped around his midsection protectively, he looked pale and winded.

Jack walked over to the kid and sat on the bed, he carefully grabbed the kid's arm that was covering his eyes, so he could get a good look at the boy, "are you hurting kid?" Jack asked as he took in Mac's pale demeanor.

"No, I'm OK, I'm just tired Jack" Mac answered his pseudo father. He knew Jack was really worried about him, after all Mac was not behaving like himself, he was being quiet, docile, compliant. He felt bad for putting his friend through this, this… whatever this was, Mac was still trying to figure that part out, but he needed to, there was a part of him that needed to not be OK and that needed his "father" to be there for him.

Mac's head was pounding again, and his shoulder was throbbing. "Um Jack" he said looking up at his friend.

"Yeah?" Jack asked with concern. He was filling a cup with water, he stopped and looked at Mac.

"Is one of those pills in that bag of tricks good for a headache? Mac asked wistfully.

Jack raised an eyebrow at the kid, surprised he was admitting to pain, and asking for meds, again… "Sure kid, I'm sure we can find something that will help with that and maybe help you get some shut eye"

Jack rummaged through the meds, found one that should handle both the pain and put the kid out for a while, at least according the label.

"You should eat something with these bud" Jack said as he handed two pills to the boy as well as the now full glass of water.

Mac shook his head, "I'm not sure it will stay down Jack" Mac's stomach was doing flips at the mere mention of food, Mac was not sure it would be able to stay put if actual food was introduced.

Jack nodded, "I get it kid, but at least try a bite of a cracker, if you have those on an empty stomach it is liable to not end well" Jack unwrapped a packet of crackers and handed one to the boy.

Mac took the offered cracker from Jack only because he knew Jack was right, taking strong meds on an empty stomach was not usually a good idea; he took a tentative bite, then another, giving his body a minute to adjust to the idea of food.

"OK kid", Jack said, "are you feeling up to a shower, maybe a change of clothes?" Those pills won't kick in for 15 to 30 minutes so now would be a good time he figured, to get the kid cleaned up.

Mac thought about it for a second, he really could use a hot shower, maybe it will help him clear his head and some of the aches and pains of the last 36 hours; he nodded and began to sit up, accepting Jack's hand when it was offered, allowing the older man to basically lift him to a sitting position while he held an arm around his ribs protectively.

"Thanks" He huffed. Jack nodded.

"Go take a shower then kid, I will bring your bag in here" Jack said as he started heading out to retrieve the kid's go-bag; "don't lock the door" He added as an afterthought.

The last thing Jack needed was having to kick in the door to the kid's bathroom if something happened. The way the kid was acting, and this day had gone, Jack would not be surprised if it ended on a low note.

Mac went to the bathroom, slowly removing his clothes, hissing with pain a few times; once he was in the shower and the hot droplets were hitting his body, he leaned his head on the tiles, closed his eyes and tried to let the water relax him, maybe wash some of the tension he was feeling in every fiber of his body away. The pain pills Jack gave him were starting to slowly encroach on his level of consciousness he realized when he opened his eyes and found himself shivering because the water was starting to run cold. He heard Jack's voice through the door.

"Mac, kid, you fall in?" Jack yelled from the other side of the closed bathroom door.

Jack had given the kid some space and some privacy, but once 20 minutes had passed and he could still hear the shower going he got worried and went to the bathroom's door to check on his friend.

"Sorry Jack" Mac said, "I'm OK, I will be out in a minute" He turned the water off and stepped out of the shower. He wrapped a towel around himself and stepped out a bit unsteadily, a light Opioid-induced fog starting to develop in his brain.

Jack saw the kid sway as he exited the bathroom, so he grabbed the kid's arm to steady him. "Wow kid! those meds kicking in?"

Mac only nodded as he headed towards the bed, not resisting Jack's support.

"Here" Jack said handing the kid some shorts and a t-shirt, "can you get these on before you pass out, or do you need help son?"

Mac took the clothes; "I can manage, thanks"

Once Mac was dressed Jack helped him lie back down on the bed, Mac was basically already asleep before his head hit the pillows, so Jack took some liberties, basically tucking the kid in and then brushing some hair off the boy's forehead tenderly.

"Tomorrow you and I are going to talk kid" Jack told his sleeping partner. Jack got up, turned off the light and left the bedroom door ajar in case his boy needed something later, Jack wanted to make sure he would be able to hear him; maybe I need to start carrying a baby monitor in my go-bag he thought with amusement as he walked around the house one last time to make sure all was secure before turning in for the night as well.


	4. Chapter 4

_**OK, let's go down the rabbit hole (Note, this is of a sensitive nature, I mean to offend no one I've been touched by suicide twice so that is where I'm coming from) I know sometimes this type of situation comes out of what seems "the blue" and shocks us all...**_

Jack awoke with a start; he rubbed a hand over his face to chase away the cobwebs, he then glanced at his phone to check the time, 2:47 am. Jack looked around the room, remembering where they were, but then in an instant, he was up, something was not right, he could feel it, his "Spidey Senses" were screaming at him, or perhaps his "fatherly instincts"; Mac! He thought as he ran out the room.

Mac was not on his bed when Jack entered the room. "Damn it!" he muttered; he went back to his room, grabbed his gun and put on some shoes, he then headed back into the house, full Delta mode engaged, but even all his training and expertise did not prepare him for what he found when he stepped out onto the back porch after he realized the sliding door was ajar; nor did it stop him from nearly fainting when he saw what Mac was doing; Mac was holding one of Jack's backup guns in his hands, he wasn't just holding it, he was spinning the barrel slowly, holding the gun so tight, even in the low light of the moon, Jack could see the kid's knuckles were white from the effort; he was holding it as if he was engaged in a twisted solitary game of Russian Roulette.

After his initial shock, Jack stopped, he took a breath and tried to calm himself. He knew he needed to approach the boy slowly, not startle him; he knew it was literally a life and death situation that could end very badly. He holstered his gun, cleared his throat so he could ensure his voice would not falter and he stepped further out onto the deck, but still outside of Mac's field of vision.

"Mac, bud, there you are" Jack said softly, his body vibrating with the need to just rush over to where the boy was and take the gun away from him; when there was no response from the blonde, he continued, taking another step closer to his boy, "so, what are you doing out here at 3 am kid?" Jack asked innocently, taking another step towards his friend.

The spinning of the barrel stopped, Mac's hands were shaking, Jack was close enough now to where he could see them, Jack swallowed hard and waited.

"I didn't mean to wake you" the blonde said. He did not move, he did not look at Jack, he was eerily still, and the tone of his voice was eerily emotionless given what he was currently doing.

Mac sensed Jack had entered the deck, Jack had an energy around him that linked them both to each other, so even though Jack had not initially made a sound, nor had he approached him, Mac knew he was there. Mac knew what he was doing was going to freak Jack out; hell, it was freaking him out too, but he did not seem to either make himself stop nor care. His whole body, his brain, everything was just numb; he had never felt this way before, at least not this badly, even after getting home from the Sandbox, he was still able to not go down the rabbit hole he seemed to be stuck in right now.

When Jack spoke, Mac stopped making the barrel of the gun spin, but he still did not have the energy, or maybe the balls, to look at Jack.

"It's OK son, you didn't wake me" Jack answered the boy, taking the last 6 steps towards Mac.

Jack saw his chance to fully approach the kid and he took it; still engaging him in light banter as if nothing was out of the norm. As if it was perfectly normal for Mac to be sitting outside, in the dark, staring out at nothing, holding and playing with a loaded gun.

Mac finally, as if waking from a dream, was able to shake himself mentally and look up towards his partner just as he felt Jack's hand on his shoulder, gripping it tightly. Mac however was still holding the gun tightly. He was not even sure why he had taken it? He knew Jack well enough to know that there would have been several loaded guns around the house, Jack always left a trail of them whenever they were somewhere he didn't know, especially if he was in full Papa-Jack mode, which he was; Mac had simply opened the kitchen drawer, taken the gun and walked out onto the deck, not sure of what he was doing, or why?

"Mac" Jack finally said in a tone that was that of a parent scolding a child but also lazed with tenderness and worry, "son, what are you doing with that gun?"

Jack had to get the gun, he needed to make sure he did so safely though, so he figured he would just come out and ask the kid what he was doing with it and go from there.

Mac blinked at Jack, he then lowered his head to look at the gun still in his hands; he sighed and released his grip on it. Jack immediately took it from him with an audible sigh of relief.

Jack saw his opportunity to take the gun from the boy when Mac's death grip on it loosened. Jack pounced on it and grabbed it, he removed the ammunition from it, locked the safety and sat it on the table beside him; as an afterthought he also removed his gun from the holster, removed that ammunition, set the safety on it and placed it on the table as well.

Mac could feel his body start to vibrate, shake really, and he could not stop it, nor could he stop the tears that suddenly started to fall freely from his eyes, nor the tortured sob that escaped his lips. Jack's was beside him in an instant, grabbing him by both shoulders and engulfing him in a bear hug that threatened to swallow him whole; a hug that made him feel loved, safe, anchored.

"Shhh, it's OK son, I'm here, it's OK; you're OK, we will figure this out, OK? I am here, and I will help you" Jack said as he held the boy who was now sobbing in his arms. "Whatever this is my boy, we will figure it out together, I promise; you will be OK"

Jack did not know what the hell was going on with Mac, but he knew this was not good, not good at all, and that he may need to get the boy some help, more than he could give him, but right now he just wanted to hold his boy, to comfort him, to feel his breath on his skin, to feel his heartbeat, because if ever there came a time when Mac was not OK, was not there, it would be Jack that would be tempted to play Russian Roulette…


	5. Chapter 5

_**Wonder what the images are? Hum? What do you think?**_

Jack felt the kid start to push back after what seemed like forever, trying to disengage from his embrace. Jack loosened his grip on the boy but did not completely sever physical contact. He did however use one of his hands to grab Mac's chin and raise it so that they could be at eye level before he spoke to the boy.

Jack stared at beautiful blue eyes, red rimmed and filled with pain and anguish he had not seen there before; he swallowed hard before speaking calmly and softly to his partner; "Mac, brother…son…what were you doing out here with that gun?" Mac tried to turn his head away from him, to break eye contact, but Jack did not allow that, he pulled it back; "Mac, I need you to answer me; I need to know what I need to do next? I need to know how to help you son"

Mac sniffed and rubbed a hand across his eyes, swallowing hard, trying his best to not bust out crying again. He knew Jack was terrified at this point, he was probably thinking he was trying to kill himself with that gun and that he needed to gage the level of urgency with which he needed to engage an army of mental health professionals to help him. Mac was not trying to kill himself, at least he did not think he was, although it would not be the worse thing in the world he thought briefly, shaking the thought away immediately, afraid of it himself.

"I…I needed it" Mac said, surprising even himself.

"OK, what did you need it for? Jack asked as calmly as possible, still holding on to the kid's face and shoulder and keeping eye contact.

"It was helping me sort through some images", again, his own answer surprised him. "I am trying to figure out what they are, what they mean: I need to figure out what this is Jack! "

Mac's breathing, tone and demeanor was starting to change into one of panic; Jack squeezed the kid's shoulder hard, hard enough to cause pain to try and keep the kid grounded, while he spoke into the kid's ear, softly but firmly: "Mac, kiddo, listen to me, you're OK, you're safe, I need you to slow your breathing down son, OK? Breathe for me, in, out, slow and easy"

Mac heard Jack's voice through the turmoil that was in his head, he knew Jack was right, he was OK, why the hell was this so hard? Why was he so off kilter? Mac started to force himself to slow his breathing down, he closed his eyes and used Jack's voice as a light in his darkness to find his way back reality. He knew if he had any chance of getting through this…this…" episode", he needed Jack to help him, and not be shipped off to the nearest Psychiatric facility to be pumped full of medications and talked to death by strangers.

Once Jack felt his friend relax some, his breathing subdued to a more normal rate, he turned back his attention to the boy. Jack needed answers, he needed them now, or he was going to whisk the kid off to the ER immediately and let medical professionals, lots and lots of them, help his boy.

"Mac, what images?" I'm lost here boy, and I can't be lost, I need to be crystal clear as to what is going on, so I can help.

Mac nodded slowly, his fingers looking for something, anything to do, started to fidget with each other. His head was pounding again. His shoulder throbbing and the nausea was starting to return, Mac has to push through it though, this time he knew he had to.

"Um.. ever since the bank robbery; I've been having images assault me" Mac paused, gathering his thoughts, "I'm not sure what to make of them? They are vivid, they are jumbled, and they are confusing…"

Jack nodded, not really understanding, but willing to listen until he did. "What are they images off Angus?"

Jack's use of his first name got Mac to look at his friend straight on, it was oddly comforting. Mac continued speaking though as if he was alone in the room, suddenly reciting a story to himself.

"There were men, we were at a bank, I was 9" Mac stopped, took a breath and continued, "Grandpa and I were inside"

"OK, what happened next?" Jack prodded; he had pulled a chair over to sit beside the boy, still holding one hand on the kid's forearm, still not willing to disengage from physical contact with the kid.

"I'm… I'm not…. s-u-r-e", suddenly Mac's head felt like he was being stabbed by a thousand icepicks all at once' He moaned in pain bringing both hands up to hold his head as the world spun; he could feel all the color drain from his face.

Jack was startled, one second, he had the kid talking to him, the next he was holding a now unconscious blonde in his arms after the kid had basically passed out after holding his head and moaning in pain. "What the hell!" Jack swore, "Mac! Mac!, can you hear me? "Angus!" Nothing… dammit he swore under his breath, as he stood up placing one arm around the kid's shoulders and one behind Mac's knees, lifting him from the chair, still unconscious.

He brought the kid back inside and laid him on the couch; he then went back outside and grabbed the guns; he just did not want them accessible until he knew more, he went to his room and put the guns away, grabbed his cell and put it in his back pocket in case he needed to call 911, he then grabbed a blanket off his bed and went back to the living room where the kid was starting to come around.

"Jack?" Mac said as he came to, he could tell he was not outside anymore, he was lying down now, on something soft, a couch? Staring up at the ceiling fan, the fan's dizzying turns not helping his nausea, so he looked away and tried to figure out what the hell just happened?

Jack heard Mac call out for him as he approached the couch. "I'm here kiddo", he then shook the blanket out and proceeded to cover the kid with it. "How you are doing bud?" he asked as he got to kid's upper body, placing the back of his hand on the kid's forehead, just in case this was some weird fever-induced set of hallucinations or something, no such luck though he thought as he realized the kid was cool and a bit clammy rather than feverish.

"Did I pass out? Mac asked.

"Yep, you were talking one minute, out cold the next" I really wish you'd stop doing that kiddo, you know it freaks me out and just gives me more grey hairs. At this point Jack figured, a little levity would not be the worst thing, since he had a feeling this was going to be a very, very, long and crappy day for both of them.

"So, how are you feeling now kid?" Jack asked again.

"I'm..tired" Mac answered honestly, "but I'm OK I guess, a bit of a headache still"

Jack nodded. "Well if you're feeling OK, I need you to keep going bud, before you passed out you said that you and your grandpa had gone into a bank when you were 9, that there were some men there; what happened in that bank Mac?"

Jack hated to push the kid to keep talking when every instinct told him to lay off the boy, comfort him, make sure he was OK and not to cause him any more stress; but the protector, sensible, responsible, all be it terrified part of him, was telling he needed to get the kid to talk, to figure out what the hell all this was about, that if he didn't Mac may end up in a dark place again, and he may not get there in time next time.

Mac looked at Jack, a bit surprised that Jack was pushing to keep talking. Mac knew that normally if Jack knew he was in some sort of pain, especially if he admitted to it out loud, Jack would go full-on Papa-bear on him.

Mac closed his eyes, took a breath and picked up where he left off…


	6. Chapter 6

_**Howdy!**_

 _ **In this chapter the Past and the Present begin to collide. Again, thanks for the kind reviews!**_

"I'm not even sure what these images all are Jack; they are jumbled and confusing"

"It's OK kid, just tell me what they are showing you, we can make sense of them together" Jack encouraged the blonde to continue, he knew they had to get to the bottom of what this was, and these images may be the key to what was bothering the boy.

Mac gave him a small nod and continued; "My grandpa and I were in the bank, I remember looking up at the counter where he was talking to the clerk" Mac ran a hand over his face and closed his eyes as images assaulted him, "there was a noise and suddenly grandpa was pushing me under the counter and behind him, ordering me to stay still and quiet"

Mac's breath caught for a second before he continued, " I peeked from behind him though, I could see 4 men, they were…Um…they were wearing Halloween-type masks and all black outfits"

As he spoke, the longer he spoke, Mac could feel his headache getting more and more painful, there were evidently knives poking him from inside his temples and a sledge hammer hitting the back of his head. He could feel his body starting to shake and grey spots were starting to return to his field of vision; he was not sure how much longer he could go on, but he knew he needed to figure out what the hell was going on? He pressed on.

Jack could tell the kid was not doing too well. It was obvious to him that he had a massive headache, the way he was closing his eyes every few minutes, squinting at him when he did look at him. He hated doing it, but he remained silent for now, letting the boy speak.

Mac took in a deep shuddering breath and continued, eyes thin slits as the light in the room suddenly felt like it was attacking his senses.

"They started to bark orders at us…they…one of them…he..um..he came over to where we were… he grabbed grandpa by the collar of his shirt and pushed him down to his knees; that was when he saw me…"

Mack stopped speaking and was still and silent for almost a minute before he felt Jack's hand on his cheek, he knew Jack was speaking but he could not really make out the words, they sounded far away, and they were intermingled with those of the men in his head. He suddenly felt the world flip flop on him and he could not help but let a moan escape his lips.

Jack waited a beat and then two, realizing the boy was basically frozen, stuck in his own memories or images, whatever these were, he placed his hand on Mac's cheek and started to rub his thumb back and forth across it as he called the boy's name; "Mac, son… you with me? Angus, brother, you need to stay with me boy"

Jack heard Mac moan in obvious pain, he then used his hand to shake the boy's shoulder and increased the volume of his voice 10-fold, switching to his command voice, he felt the boy flinch under his hand.

When Mac suddenly heard Jack's, voice thundering in his head, calling him, he jumped, startled out of his reverie; he blinked at the older man and then rubbed at his eyes with his hand; "Sorry" he said softly. "Where was I?" He said tiredly.

Jack had enough. He knew it was important they keep going, but he also knew his friend and he could tell that Mac was close to collapsing again if they continued. He did not want to stop but he was not about to hurt his boy by making him talk about something that was evidently traumatic enough to make him so off kilter he was willing to subject himself to medical care, drugs, even encroachment of his personal space.

"It's OK son" he squeezed the kid's shoulder as he continued, placing a soft smile on his lips, "we can stop for now; you look like you need a nap, and I could use some breakfast" Jack looked at his watch and realized it was nearly 6 am, they had been at this for 3 hours now; the boy needed a break, and frankly so did he.

"It's OK Jack" Mac said softly, "I can…I should continue"

"No!", "I am making the calls right now kiddo; we're stopping" Jack grabbed the blanket and pulled it up higher, so he was sure the kid was covered, he could feel him shivering some, or maybe he was shaking, either way, the blanket would not hurt. "I am going to grab a shower while you rest some, then I'm going to make us breakfast while you, if you feel up to it, take a shower and change too; then we will go out and enjoy some fresh air, maybe get some sun" Jack paused for effect and to make sure the kid was tracking, "We will pick up where you left off later, after we, you, have a chance to catch your breath, OK kiddo?"

Mac was about to protest, about to tell Jack he was fine, but then he decided he was already traveling down this path, he needed to trust Jack knew what was best, to let the older man take care of things without him trying to pretend all was well; besides, he was tired and maybe catching a quick catnap and getting some air may not be such a bad idea.

"Whatever you say old man" Mac responded, inserting some of his usual banter to try and find a semblance of "normal" in the situation.

Jack smiled and ruffled the kid's hair; "that's right! About damn time you start listening to your elders boy!" Jack stood to go take a shower, he glanced at the sliding door and then the front door, making sure they were secure, he then looked back down at the blonde; "DON'T MOVE off this couch, you hear me?" he commanded.

"Yes sir" Mac nodded, already closing his eyes. "I'm not going anywhere Jack"

Satisfied the boy would stay put Jack went into his room to grab some clothes and take a quick shower. All the way there, Jack could not help but worry about Mac, worry about these memories that seem to be causing him pain and anguish, what ever the hell happened inside that bank 16 years ago was probably not good, and somehow, living through the Puerto Rican heist triggered something in Mac's ginormous genius brain that opened the flood gates to these memories which he probably had not explored in 16 years. Jack knew what PTSD could do to a man, he knew they were threading dangerous ground and he knew this may be more than Jack could help the boy with on his own, but, before he called anyone else in, he was going to try and help his boy through this in private, he knew that is what Mac would prefer, and he also knew that Mac trusted him to make the right choices on his behalf right now, while he was so lost and confused.

Jack was not about to let his boy down, not now, not ever.

By the time Jack was in the shower, Mac was sound asleep.


	7. Chapter 7

**The story continues... (In case you have not figure it out yet, I love keeping you all in suspense)**

"Ow!" Jack yelped when the kid maneuvered his knee into the door frame as he was attempting to help him into the house.

"Sorry" Mac whispered, panting; the effort of helping carry Jack's weight back from the beach evident in every breath; his face red, sweat pouring down his face.

"It's OK kid" Jack unwrapped himself from the kid's shoulder and limped towards the couch. How the hell had he let himself get injured during a simple walk on the beach? He must be losing his touch Jack thought.

Mac had run into the kitchen and had returned with some ice, a towel and two bottles of water, he handed one to Jack while he uncapped his and drank it almost in one gulp.

"Slow down kid!" Jack commanded, "you're going to make yourself sick" as he watched Mac inhale the water as he made himself more comfortable on the couch.

Mac looked at him, putting the bottle down and wiping his mouth with his hand, "I'm good" he mumbled as he proceeded to help Jack lift his injured leg onto a cushion to elevate it and then placed the ice on the towel and the towel on Jack's knee. "How does that feel big guy?" Mac asked softly, as if although in the room and somewhat engaged, his mind was not fully with him but rather focused on something only he could see.

Jack noticed and grabbed one of the kid's hand in his, squeezing the cold fingers that were currently holding the ice in place; "Mac, I'm OK; it is just a bad twist, nothing broken, nothing sprained or badly injured (other than his ego, he had gotten hurt when a kid's kite had come flying down in their direction as they were walking down the beach, when he saw it bearing down on them he instinctively grabbed Mac and pushed him out of the kite's path, unfortunately he did not see the seaweed that was on the ground as he pivoted on his left leg and thus managed to lose his own balance, falling basically on top of Mac, but not before twisting his knee a bit)"; although the way Mac had acted when realized Jack had the minor injury, you would have thought he'd been short or something.

Mac stopped moving, he blinked rapidly a few times as if to clear his vision, he then bolted to the bathroom before Jack could stop him and proceeded to empty his stomach content into the toilet bowl.

"Well, so much for breakfast" Jack thought, "I'm coming kiddo, hang on" Jack said as he stood up slowly, shaking off some of the stiffness of his knee and walking to the bathroom with a slight limp. When he entered (pushed through the bathroom's door really), he found Mac sitting in a corner, knees drawn up to his chin, arms wrapped around them, with his head hidden down on them while he sobbed"

What the hell just happened? Jack thought. He knew the kid was not running on all 4 cylinders, but how did they go from Mac putting ice on a simple twisted knee to him sitting on the bathroom floor, wrapped up into himself protectively crying? Jack shook his head and headed towards the toilet, he put the seat down and sat down facing the kid (he knew sitting on the floor next to Mac would not be a good idea with his knee).

He put a hand on the kid's head, squeezing lightly, "Um Mac, Mac, bud, what is going on?" "I'm lost again bother and I told you I can't be lost; I need to know what is going on, so I can help you?" "If this is about my knee son, I'm OK, it is nothing, I promise"

Mac looked up from his corner, sniffling softly, eyes red and brimming with tears. "I'm confused too Jack" he stated; "I'm not sure if I'm just losing my mind at this point, I'm…I…"

"Breathe kid" Jack said urgently, the last think thing he needed was Mac having a full-fledged panic attach, "nice and slow breaths, you hear me?" Jack was running a hand through the kid's hair, stopping on the back of Mac's neck and squeezing, the repeating the motions until Mac's breathing was back to normal and he did not look like he was ready to jump out of his own skin. "Good, that is good my boy" Jack reassured the blonde with one last squeeze to the back of the kid's neck.

Jack grabbed the kid's chin and pushed up, so they would have eye contact before speaking.

"So, Mac, you want to tell me what just happened son?"

Mac looked up at his friend. Jack's voice was filled with worry and tenderness, Mac could not help but reach out and hug his friend in a back-breaking embrace, returned whole-heartily by the older man.

"I'm sorry Jack he whispered" as he stood and stretched out his hand to help Jack up, "I'll be OK, let's get ice back on that knee of yours before it swells up like a balloon, we can talk later Jack" Mac's tone was firm and soft, but left no room for argument.

Jack followed his young friend out of the bathroom and back on the couch where he gladly accepted the ice pack back on his knee; but if the kid thought he was off the hook about what the hell had just happened, he had another thing coming. Jack was giving him a wee bit of space, but not enough for the kid to go too far.

Jack watched as the kid ministered to his knee and then asked him if he wanted any Ibuprofen? When Jack said "yes" to that (his knee was throbbing), Mac went back to the bathroom to get it, returning with two pills and handing them to Jack.

"OK kid" Jack said grabbing the boy's forearm before Mac could escape his reach; "sit" he ordered; Mac sat on the chair beside the couch. Jack nodded satisfied at least that Mac was tracking and following directions for once…" Now, talk" Jack looked at his young friend's face which was lazed with pain, but not physical pain Jack thought…" you were telling me about the men at the bank pushing your grandpa down and realizing you were there, what happened next Mac?"

Mac knew he needed to keep going. He swallowed hard and started back…" I was scared…"


	8. Chapter 8

_**At the Bank... (Giving you a little more information today...)**_

"I was scared, when the man grabbed me and yanked me out from behind grandpa, I was scared he was going to hurt grandpa because of me"

Typical Mac Jack thought, even as a kid he was more worried about other's well-being than his own. Jack remained silent though and let the kid speak.

"The man dragged me towards the center of the room, grandpa came up behind us, trying to grab the man's arm, telling him not to hurt me, that I was just a boy…" Mac stopped, took a hitched breath and then continued, "another man grabbed grandpa and basically tossed him into the group of other adults in the room; I…I remember hearing for the first time…what I now know is the sound of bone breaking…" Mac swallowed hard, "grandpa's arm had been broken when he landed, he tried to catch himself before he hurt the pregnant woman they threw him on top of…"

The pounding in Mac's head was growing worse by the minute, he could feel his body start to shake slightly as the images of that day finally started to flow into a more logical order, they had been flowing, or rather assaulting him, for days now, but they had been jumbled, out of order, but now, as he told the story, they were falling into place in his mind, still, they were taking a toll.

Jack was still quiet, going against every instinct to protect the boy sitting beside him and making him stop talking, for clearly, this was taking a huge toll on his boy. Mac was shaking already, he was pale, even for him, and starting to sweat, but Mac needed to talk this through, so Jack allowed the lesser evil to win out for now…he did squeeze the boy's hand he was still holding though.

Mac felt Jack's hand squeeze his; he had not realized Jack still was holding his hand, normally he would have pulled it back a long time ago with some sort of comment about not being 10, but… today…right now…he was 9, so it was OK. He took comfort in the physical connection and continued.

"Grandpa yelled as the break in his arm happened, but he managed to contain himself as he glanced in my direction and smiled, telling me it was OK, he was fine, it was nothing" One of the men came over to where he was and kicked him in the stomach, told him to shut up!"; I remember screaming and trying to run over to where he was, but the man that was closer to me just grabbed me and tossed me back on the floor (like the men in Puerto Rico…Mac could not help the parallel happen in his head as he spoke, he shook it off and continued), "I was helpless, I couldn't…" Mac's breath caught, his body shaking more at this point, his head a virtual drum roll, he squeezed Jack's hand again, trying to ground himself.

Jack could see Mac's controlled walls crumbling, the carefully protective layers he so painstakingly edified around him continuously, coming down like a house of cards in the wind. It hurt Jack to see Mac like this, but he had to let the boy continue; he knew it was the best thing for him. Jack looked down at his hand, feeling Mac squeeze it, he squeezed back, but remained silent.

"I um…hit my head as I landed, I remember my head hurt for days after…" (Mac suddenly wondered if that is why it hurt now, if the memories of that day were causing a type of phantom pain? The scientist in him was oddly curious) "so everything was a bit blurry for a bit, I could hear the men talking though, they were saying things like 'hurry up' and 'grab this or that' to each other, one of them then came up to one of the women that were on the floor by grandpa, he grabbed her by her hair and stood her up, she was crying, he made her go with him, probably to open the vault before the hole was finished…."

Jack raised his eyebrow at that, "Hole?" he asked, "what hole Mac?"

Mac stopped and looked at the older man, "hole?" he didn't say hole, did he?" He ran his free hand, the one not being held by Jack still, over his tired eyes and rubbed his pounding forehead, "sorry, I meant to say before the cops showed up… "(Hole, no, there was no hole, the hole was in Puerto Rico, he'd made the hole to save the others, he needed to get a grip!)

"OK Mac, just breathe brother, you're OK" Jack spoke softly at the boy, he could still see the physical toll this was taking on Mac, his heart broke for the young blonde, "I'm right here son, you're safe"

Mac looked at Jack as he spoke to him, Jack was telling him everything was OK, that he was safe, he had to remember that, he was safe he thought, Jack, his rock, was there.

"I could hear the woman crying from the back of the bank, she was terrified" I looked over at grandpa and then noticed, I um…noticed the revolver in a holster, under one of the desks" Mac's world shifted and everything went grey for a second, he could feel bile rising in his throat, his mouth begin to water with the tell-tell signs of imminent nausea, he could feel the color drain from his face, he reached out with his free hand to grab the arm of the chair he was sitting on, everything seem to be fading around him, he couldn't catch his breath.

Jack saw the change instantly; Mac went 5 shades paler than his normal pallor; the boy's hand he was still holding was shaking violently now, Mac began to sweat profusely and he had closed his eyes and moaned in pain, then he grabbed on to the arm of the chair as if to steady himself; Jack was up, hurt knee forgotten in an instant, and he was kneeling in front of his boy, both of his hands on the boys shoulders, one finger checking for a pulse that was fast and irregular; damn it! Kid was headed downhill fast, he should have made him stop sooner. He took a steadying breath (he and Mac could not both freak out at the same time) and then with a tone of voice that only a father could muster when speaking to his child, to the most precious and loved thing in his life, he spoke to the boy…

"Angus, son, I need you to listen to me bud, I need you to open your eyes for me please, son, look at me…" Jack waited, after what seemed like for ever Mac looked at him, eyes wide and red-rimmed, tears flowing freely from them, "That is it, good, now listen to my voice OK son? I need you to stay with me, and I need you to repeat after me, OK, no matter how silly, just repeat after me, are you hearing me son?"

Mac nodded, Jack continued, "One" (Mac repeated), Two, Three (Mac repeated), Five (Mac frowned, it was out of order, but he repeated, trusting Jack), Six, Four (Mac frowned again, but oddly saying it made him feel better…they continued), eight, seven, eleven, ten…" Jack could feel Mac's heart rate begin to drop, the boy's body was not trembling as badly, the boy opened his eyes and looked at Jack, swallowing hard and blinking fast, as if waking from a nightmare; Jack wiped a stray tear from Mac's cheek with his thumb and smiled at the boy.

Mac took a deep shaky breath, he felt Jack's thumb on his cheek, realized he was crying again, he really needed to get a grip he thought, but right now he was just grateful the storm in his mind had abated and he could breathe and think straight again. His head was still pounding fiercely, his body was aching, his stomach was in knots, but he could think straight, so he was grateful for that, for Jack, the unmoving rock in his crazy life, the foundation of all that he considered good and trustworthy in his life.

He smiled at his 'pseudo father', "It's OK da-Jack, it is getting better, I'm OK"

Jack released his hold on the boy, wiping a hand over his own face and taking a shaky breath of his own (he had heard the "da" and his heart warmed). He was scared for a minute, scared Mac had gone too far down the dark rabbit hole these memories seem to be inside of, too far and too deep. He needed to be more careful with his boy, maybe he should get a professional's opinion he thought, Mac's voice bringing him back from his reverie with a start.

"I'm sorry? "Jack asked the young blonde, he had not heard what Mac had asked him.

"Why did you make me count out of order Jack?" Mac asked, partly because he was curious, and partly because it was something to say.

Jack smiled, he ran a hand through Mac's hair unabashed and unimpeded, "Because, our brain cannot freak out and count numbers out of order at the same time, both functions use the same areas of the brain, so the brain picks the numbers because they are in an illogical order, so it focuses on making sense of that instead of freaking out"

Mac looked surprised, Jack he knew was smarter than most people gave him credit for, he used that "I'm just a big thug" persona to his advantage, but Mac was very much aware of Jack's potential, but still, when Jack chose to use his intellect and knowledge of things not related to guns, fighting and or blowing stuff up, he was often caught by surprise.

"What?' Jack said, laughing softly at his boy's expression, "I know stuff", Jack patted the boy on the shoulder, "I read".

Mac smiled thinly and nodded. He cleared his throat. "Jack"

"Yeah bud?" Jack looked at his friend.

"OK if we take a break, I need to lie down a bit, maybe take something for this headache?" Mac asked softly. He really needed to stop for a bit; somehow, he knew what came next in the "story" was not going to be pleasant, even though he knew that, he could not actually truly remember what happened next? It was a disconcerting conundrum.

Jack nodded; "Yeah Mac, I was going to insist you take a break actually; you look like hell son", he nodded towards the boy's bedroom. "Go lie down, I will bring you something for that headache I know is probably pounding in your head right now" Jack winked, the boy just smiled back at him tiredly and nodded.

Jack sat there and just watched his boy make his way slowly towards his bedroom. Mac looked almost fragile. Jack sighed, he knew what he needed to do, he grabbed his phone and dialed a familiar number as he stood and walked out to the back porch, "Matty…"


	9. Chapter 9

_**The breaking point... (This one is short, but I think it had to be)**_

 ** _Thanks again for all the support and your wonderful reviews!_**

Jack hung up the phone and sighed. The hour-long conversation with the therapist that Matty patched through to help Jack figure out what to do next regarding Mac's current predicament was very informative. The therapist told him that it sounds like Mac suffered a traumatic event (tell me something I don't know Jack thought when he heard that) at that bank as a child, the events of that time were traumatic enough to likely be suppressed by the boy; however, the Puerto Rican bank heist incident was so similar, it must have triggered an "Opening of the Flood Gates" for Mac, causing the memories, long hidden away, to come barreling down upon him all at once.

The therapist agreed that Jack was on the right track, making Mac talk about what happened when he was a boy in that bank was the only way he would be able to face his past and move on, even if moving on involves additional help, like therapy or medications, the first step would have to be facing the memories.

Jack walked back inside the house and quietly walked into Mac's room to check on the kid. Mac was lying there, staring at the ceiling, quietly; Jack assumed the kid had been asleep; he walked further into the room and spoke. "Hey kiddo, you're supposed to resting"

Mac looked in his direction and blinked; "I am resting" he said in a tone that betrayed his young age.

Jack rolled his eyes at the boy. "I meant sleeping boy, and you know it" Jack's tone in contrast was that of a chastising parent.

Mac shrugged. "I can't shut the images off, so sleeping is out of the question" He said tiredly.

Jack sat down on the bed next to his friend, making Mac move slightly to the side so they could both fit. He put a hand on the kid's chest, over his heart and smiled at Mac. "I'm sorry son, I can see based on what has happened so far, that this is not easy for you" Mac just looked at him; he continued, "but the best thing we can do right now bud is to get all those images, all those memories out on the surface, then, and only then, can we figure out what we need to do next? I can figure out how to help you"

"You are already helping me Jack, you always do…" Mac said quietly.

"And I always will son" Jack answered, patting the boy's chest lightly with his hand. Jack figured, what the hell, this was as good a time as any to keep going; "Mac" Jack looked down at his young friend, "what happened when you saw that gun at the bank?"

Mac was a bit surprised by the fact that Jack just came out and asked like that, but then again, beating around the bush was not going to do him or Jack any good. He was exhausted, physically, mentally, he just wanted to crawl into a dark hole, cover it back up and stay there until the whole World stopped trying to get him (which is what it felt like lately).

"Um…I um…tried to hide the fact that I had seen a gun from the men the best I could, I cried out for grandpa more as a distraction, the men were annoyed enough to tell me to shut up and walk away to the other end of the room, away from the whinny kid I guess" Mac pushed his tired body up slowly up to a sitting position on the bed and looked at Jack straight on before continuing. "The man and the pregnant lady came back into the room after about 15 minutes, I noticed she was bleeding from her lip; that bastard probably hit her…I was just a kid, but I knew you're not supposed to hit women, so I was upset for her"

Jack smiled, again, even as a kid, Mac wanted to help everyone. He nodded towards the kid, "Bastard…"

"Yeah…anyway, the men started to put some duffel bags near the back of the room, towards the back exit, I assume they were filled with money" Mac paused to take a breath. "One of the other women took that opportunity of the men being somewhat distracted, or so she thought, to run towards the front door and try to escape"

Jack waited but Mac had stopped talking, when he looked at the boy he could see the turmoil going on inside his head, sweat was starting to pour from the kid even though the room was comfortably cooled, Mac's hands were intertwined with each other, fingers moving rapidly, his eyes narrowed and downcast.

"Go on kid" Jack pushed (he knew they were close).

"One of the men turned when he noticed the movement…he um…he…" Mac took a deep breath…" He took a knife out of his boot and he um…threw it at the woman's, she was dead before she hit the ground" Mac closed his eyes at the images, all that blood, her scream…

"There was so much blood…I remember screaming, she had screamed too right before the knife entered the back of her neck"

Again, Mac stopped talking, his eyes now closed, his breathing getting fast. Jack pushed, "then what happened Mac?"

It was as if he was on autopilot now, Mac could not stop the images even if he tried, he could not stop them from assaulting him, stop himself from reliving them. The sights, the smell of blood, the strangled sound of the woman's last breath.

"I jumped up and started running toward my grandfather; he saw me and started to yell at me to stop, to get down!" Mac's breathing was galloping like a wild horse running for its life, "I turned my head and I saw one of the men was holding a knife too, he was looking right at me, I.. I….turned to look forward and saw my grandfather, he was running towards me, trying to reach me in time…he cried out my name" Mac's breathing hitched, he paused, tears rolling down his cheeks, a thundering noise rolling between his ears, like a rushing river"

Jack's heart was breaking, but he pushed, "and then what?"

"I could not let them kill my grandpa, I couldn't, I just couldn't, it would have been my fault!" Mac was screaming now, completely lost in the memories, Jack grabbed his hand and squeezed it but said nothing, "I dove under the desk, I had to, I couldn't let them kill my grandfather, I grabbed the gun, I…I pointed it at the men and…I had to, I had to do it! I squeezed the trigger, over and over and over, I couldn't make it stop!...I had to…"

Mac burst out in heart-wrenching, soul-breaking sobs, he was breaking apart at the seams, he was drowning in a sea of memories, of guilt, of pain…

Jack grabbed on to the boy, he held him close to him trying in vain to get through to him, telling him it was OK, it was all going to be all right, but Mac was not hearing him, he couldn't, he was not in that room with Jack, no, he was in that bank so long ago, he was holding a gun that he had pointed and shot at another human being at the tender age of 9; he was completely down the rabbit hole. All Jack could do now was hold him, hold him tight and hope he would be able to put the pieces back together after the storm passed; he, they both, just held on for dear life…


	10. Chapter 10

_**I figured I'd end this one here. If anyone wants to take some poetic license though and do like a sequel, feel free with my blessing. Cheers!**_

Jack glanced down at the blond blob that he was still currently holding in his arms, the young blond was sleeping still, Jack had not moved an inch in 3 hours so as not to wake him. After Mac's breakthrough (or breakdown, depending how you see it) it had taken Jack the better part of an hour to calm the boy down enough to make Mac take some water and a couple of pills he had grabbed from his bag (potent pain pills he had left over from one of his last injuries) the combination of the stress, the exhaustion and the strong meds had finally won out in the end and Mac had succumbed to sleep, but not before grabbing on to Jack again, engulfing him in another hug that felt like it could wrap around Jack 3 times over and left the older man breathless. Jack did not care though, he would have sat there, and will sit there, holding his sleeping boy for as long as Mac needed him.

Jack had one arm wrapped around the kid's upper body, the other he was using to card his fingers through the kid's hair, Jack's chin sat on top of the boy's head, he was lost in thought as he sat there with Mac. He was trying to figure out what to do next? How was he going to help the boy (both of them, the one in his arms now, and the 9-year-old in the bank) get through this..this…mess? In a fluid move he reached for his cell and dialed the therapist's number; Jack was going to need some help with this.

Mac started to stir, Jack looked down at the boy, a hand on the kid's left cheek, a soothing tone in his voice as he rubbed his thumb on Mac's cheek "Mac…hey Mac…it's OK, you're safe, it's me, I've got you kid" Jack waited as Mac finished waking up, his thoughts quickly running through what the therapist had told him when they spoke a couple hours ago. The therapist told him that what Mac had done, what he had gone through was a powerful, life-changing event, it would be for an adult, much more for a young boy. Mac, he told Jack, needed to continue talking about it, to face the memories and the feelings that came with them. The young man was going to need an anchor in the storm though, so Jack was going to need to be that for him. It was likely he told Jack, that Mac may try to push Jack away though, mood swings, anger, shame, pain, it was all going to surface; and Mac was probably going to also try to push it all back to whence it came from, the memories, the feelings, he will try to pretend it was OK, that he was OK, that he had compartmentalized these feelings like he often did others, and that there was no need to worry. Jack's role was to push through all this farce and make Mac really deal with this once and for all, at least to start on the path of healing, for it was likely Mac would need some professional help too, but that could not, and would not likely happen until Mac understood that these events that occurred cannot just be swept under the rug again, it was too late for that.

"Good morning sleepy head" Jack said with a tired smile on his lips as he looked down at Mac's blue eyes staring back at him. "How are you feeling bud?"

Mac, realizing the position he was in, literally in Jack's lap, pushed back and away from the older man. "Hi; I'm OK" Mac's voice was raspy, his throat no doubt sore from all the upset earlier.

"There is a water bottle on the nightstand bud" Jack said as he nodded in the direction of the table. Mac looked at it, but he stood and walked out of the bedroom instead.

Here we go thought Jack as he stood to follow the boy; Mac had gone straight through the house and out the back to the deck; Jack found him leaning against the railing, looking at the Ocean.

Jack walked over to him but said nothing, he just stood beside him, grateful to be standing and able to stretch his cramped muscles from holding his boy for so long.

They stood there, in silence for what seemed like forever until Mac spoke first. "Jack…I'm sorry"

Jack raised on eyebrow at the boy as he looked at him. "What on Earth are you sorry for Mac?"

"For laying all this on you, I shouldn't have done that; this is not your fight" Mac said, his voice still raspy and tired.

Jack turned his body around so that his back was against the railing, he looked at Mac with all the love in his eyes he could muster. "Mac, son, you have nothing to be sorry for; you hear me?" Jack waited a second for that to sink in and continued, "There is nothing you can ever do, past, present or future, that would ever cause me to not want to be there for you Mac" Jack paused again, swallowed down his own tempest of feelings and continued, "And for the record Angus MacGyver, any fight you're fighting is mine to fight as well; don't ever forget that kiddo" Jack put a hand on the boy's shoulder and he then walked back inside the house in order to give Mac some space, and himself too.

Mac closed his eyes and breathed slowly and deeply; he felt his hands shaking, the memories of that horrible day were still there, but somehow, they were not as powerful today as they had been yesterday. He knew this was not going to be easy, but he took comfort in the fact that he knew Jack would be there for every step, for every tear, for everything. He opened his eyes and looked out at the open water before him, a glimmer of hope and peace now in his heart…

The end…


	11. Chapter 11

_**OK, so I lied, I thought this story could stand at least another chapter….**_

Mac turned his head towards the house, Jack was calling him inside for breakfast, Mac smiled and shook his head, Jack, the mighty Delta warrior, a man that most sane men wouldn't dare antagonize, was nothing but a Papa-Bear softy when it came to Mac.

"Coming!" He yelled and started toward the house.

"Hey kiddo, here eat things, you need some meat in those skinny ass bones of yours" Jack shoved a plate with eggs and bacon, sausage, bread, the kitchen sink…towards Mac; when did he have time to make all this food Mac wondered as he grabbed a fork and dove in, realizing that he was actually hungry.

"Hey, slow down Mac!" Jack warned, you've been nauseated for a few days now, let's not push our luck OK; Jack was smiling though, he was happy to see his kid eat and not look so worn out as he had been the last couple of days. He sat beside Mac at the kitchen's island, his own plate full with food, stabbing at it with hunger he too did not realize he had.

Mac started to feel a little queasy as he made his way through his breakfast, even though he was hungry, he pushed his plate back, away from him; Jack raised an eyebrow at him but said nothing as Mac stood up and after reaching out to briefly steady himself on the counter, started to walk back out towards the deck.

Jack sighed, shook his head but stayed in the kitchen; finishing his breakfast and letting the kid have some room. The therapist did tell him that Mac would have mood swings throughout this time as the PTSD reared its ugly head and the lines between reality and the past blurred for him.

Jack stood and took care of the dishes once he finished his own breakfast; he then went in search of his blond friend.

Mac was sitting in one of the chairs out in the deck, he looked out towards the beach, engrossed in the movement of the waves, thinking about the sheer power the Ocean harnessed and how Nature had such capacity for both beauty and destruction when suddenly his 'reality' shifted, instead of being on the deck looking at the water, he was back at the bank, just for a second, a flash, a loud noise, his name being called; he nearly fell off the chair when he felt Jack's hand on his shoulder, shaking him.

"M….c" Jack was speaking to him, but why is Jack here, he was not supposed to be at the bank, but wait…he wasn't at the bank either, he focused on the feeling of Jack's hand on his shoulder and blinked rapidly trying to focus on Jack's face.

"Mac, bud, you with me?" Jack's soft tone was comforting.

Mac nodded, then he swallowed down some bile as his breakfast tried its best to make a reappearance.

"Sorry…" Mac said softly.

Jack took a seat beside the boy, being careful to not spook him (therapist said to be careful with Mac's startle reflex during PTSD events), as he took the boy's hand in his.

"Where were you son?" Jack asked, rubbing a thumb against Mac's hand for both comfort and grounding.

Mac looked at Jack, he let the older man continue to hold his hand, as silly as it was, even though he is a grown man, it felt good to have that link, and he knew Jack would never hold it against him.

"I … I was back there for a second…" Mac replied honestly, looking back towards the water, his eyes brimming with tears. "How am I supposed to fix this Jack?" he surprised himself by asking out loud.

"You can't fix it Mac" Jack said slowly. Mac hunched his shoulders slightly but did not look at him, Jack continued; "This is not something to fix Mac, because you did not do anything wrong kid"

Jack squeezed the boy's hand and said, "Look at me Mac", when he got no response, he repeated in a more commanding voice, "LOOK AT ME"

The boy complied, blinking at him. Jack could see unshed tears in Mac's eyes that the boy was furiously trying to keep at bay.

"You Mac, are the kindest, most amazing young man I know, you have nothing to fix, nothing to apologize for, nothing to undo, because what you did Mac, was painful, it was traumatic, it was necessary; you did what you needed to do Mac, even as a boy, you did what you needed to do in order to keep others safe"

A lone tear escaped Mac's eyes and traveled down his cheek unencumbered, he turned his hand over so that now it was him that was squeezing Jack's hand but remained silent.

"Mac, son, this road we are on today is not going to be a smooth ride, but know this, you are not on it alone, I'm here, I'm always beside you, and I will help you navigate through the bumps, twists and turns it has in store for us, OK bud?

Mac nodded, still saying nothing. He sighed and stood up, placing a hand on the older man's shoulder as he turned to go back inside the house, and squeezed.

Mac did not deserve this man that sat beside him. This man that he knew would give his life a thousand times over if it kept Mac safe. This man who was for all intent and purposes, the only father Mac had ever known.

Mac went to his room, closed the door, sat on the bed and cried.

Jack sat, also looking at the water, thinking about his boy. Thinking how the Universe seemed to be intent on making Mac's life more difficult than it should be. His boy was a beautiful soul, he did not deserve all that kept happening to him; Jack wished he could take it all on for him, he would take every pain, every nightmare, every tear from Mac and feel them himself if it would allow Mac to be OK, to be at peace with his own existence. Jack was not surprised to find a tear rolling down his own cheek unencumbered too.


End file.
